Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
