Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize