okay pat passed out under dana's car
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
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