I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
