singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
