My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
