I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
