Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
