Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
