piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I have feelings that need drinking.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
