Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize