fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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