Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
