Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
