Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
that is very illegal...i love you.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
