me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
