Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
