In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
