I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
