I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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