If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
