pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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