Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
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I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
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also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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