Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
