True but thats because hes a fetus.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Randomize
