Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
