i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
