He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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