i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
