How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
