I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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