I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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