I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
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Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It's blow job season.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
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you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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