dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver just had a heart attack.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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