if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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