okay pat passed out under dana's car
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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