Whod you bang
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
