North Korea, Best Korea!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
