So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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