if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
