mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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