they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
