You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
