I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
