It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
