I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
