are you still at the devil's house?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
