Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize