I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
