Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
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its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
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I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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