Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The Olympian is in my bed
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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