Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
