I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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