i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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