it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
