I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize