so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
