It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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