Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
