My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
