Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize