He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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