You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
