Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?