Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial