So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
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