Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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