Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.