Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(862): View more from New Jersey

Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.

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(862): Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/hfa7

Replies (40) Good night (2268) Bad night (3213)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore

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(410): I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore http://tfl.nu/l2tw

Replies (33) Good night (962) Bad night (2358)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize

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(701): Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize http://tfl.nu/1v86

Replies (50) Good night (4383) Bad night (807)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.

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(757): I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour. http://tfl.nu/8whx

Replies (16) Good night (4599) Bad night (933)
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(650): View more from California

How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?

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(650): How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list? http://tfl.nu/v2ct

Replies (28) Good night (1276) Bad night (4823)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed

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(610): So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed http://tfl.nu/2fhq

Replies (5) Good night (4244) Bad night (1110)
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(905): View more from Ontario

I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.

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(905): I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out. http://tfl.nu/0m9y

Replies (7) Good night (2512) Bad night (792)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.

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(717): We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt. http://tfl.nu/sjgj

Replies (11) Good night (2083) Bad night (1051)
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(813): View more from Florida

I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious

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(813): I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious http://tfl.nu/g6os

Replies (3) Good night (1715) Bad night (807)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio

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(617): The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio http://tfl.nu/9d6t

Replies (10) Good night (3594) Bad night (886)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer

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(440): Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer http://tfl.nu/t9hh

Replies (4) Good night (1281) Bad night (542)
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(954): View more from Florida

I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.

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(954): I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school. http://tfl.nu/cu89

Replies (1) Good night (937) Bad night (326)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor

(703): View more from Virginia

Who is also still dressed up as a pirate

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(703): Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor (703): Who is also still dressed up as a pirate http://tfl.nu/yo9o

Replies (5) Good night (534) Bad night (465)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"

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(613): Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!" http://tfl.nu/otim

Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (290)
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(559): View more from California

Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"

(707): View more from California

Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.

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(559): Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!" (707): Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war. http://tfl.nu/84el

Replies (6) Good night (1566) Bad night (408)

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